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bad times.

by Jetson Plains

/
1.
When the ground caves in and folds under us All you’ll want is attention With the plague closing in at your doorstep You’ve got your joke of a family worth defending Take that all to the bank I hope they all close, sink, and degrade When I’m hanging in the back room of my work You’ll make it all about you And at my funeral, empty as it might be You’d find something better to do I got your tactics down Throw me in the ocean and watch me drown You’re settling again Nothing has changed You’re never my friend But nothing has changed Complaining again Nothing has changed Out of the bend But nothing has changed
2.
In that small studio apartment With the views of the mountains Where that first message in 4 years was sent And that tiny life shared together The found furniture from Goodwill Do you still wish you had ever bothered? The patio out front and the broken door Leading to a one person kitchen The one spot without the brown tiled floor Do mistakes hurt more at the time or after Do you think they were mistakes, after, or just now at the time? Do you ever look back at the beginning Were we sinning, or having fun And is there ever really a difference between I remember going out for walks when I could manage it When I could manage not drinking When I could get out of bed I remember taking you out at night for drives When my car would work When my mind would work I remember missing you waking up in the morning When the dog was barking When you put your jacket on and left And I don’t think it was really a mistake But it’s not an excuse for me And it still means everything to me still Even though I may not know what that means Or what any of this will mean But I think I was a mistake I think I don’t want to be here any more I don’t think I was ever really needed But needed to feel it somehow From someone And when it didn’t happen I couldn’t handle it I couldn’t handle me Or you Or us I never could I never will
3.
4.
Hey Hannah! 02:52
Hey Hannah Hey Hannah You’re my best friend And I can’t want to see you again You’re my favorite family member Can’t wait for all our adventures together Illinois might be boring But it’s not like I’m doing anything here anyways Just need some movies And a place where I’m myself to stay Hey Hannah Hey Hannah You’re my best friend And I can’t want to see you again Hang out with daddy cage I know that he’s your favorite actor And those things might change I’m ready to not be alone for once with trump fascists Hey Hannah Hey Hannah You’re my best friend And I can’t want to see you again In all serious Sometimes I wanna fucking die And it’s okay to turn to you When I’m feeling low inside And I hope I do the same It’s nice to be needed It’s nice for a change
5.
Guess you say I’m doing alright at work And Ryan would probably say the opposite Not because he wants to be mean But because he’s trying to get me off it I know I’m better than this Even Charles is the kitchen manager now What am I doing here, where am I going Still wanna get the fuck out of this town Still wanna get the fuck out of this town Still wanna find a cool place to hang around And it ain’t here Goddamn man, it just ain’t here My best friend is having a baby Went to the wedding and thought about my life Glad he’s happy, glad it worked out But when will I be close to doing something right Still wanna get the fuck out of this town Still wanna find a cool place to hang around And it ain’t here Goddamn man, it just ain’t here Seeing people from high school just ain’t my thing Seeing their face as I’m passing them in the left lane And everything just feels the same Yeah everything just feels the same Still wanna get the fuck out of this town Still wanna find a cool place to hang around And it ain’t here Goddamn man, it just ain’t here
6.
7.
8.
You love being mad at me You show it daily And I didn’t ask for things to be this way Did this ever matter to you Before you said we’re through Or was losing me all you ever wanted to do And I tried But this is how it’s going to be And you lied When you said you’d try for me Because it didn’t matter to you It didn’t matter enough to make a move You love confronting me You show it daily And did you love me, well maybe But were you in love Well maybe not enough Otherwise this would’ve been at least a little bit rough And I tried But this is how it’s going to be And you lied When you said you’d try for me Because it didn’t matter to you It didn’t matter enough to make a move What’re you thinking What’re you thinking when you lead me to believe That this was something you’d continue with me I know I wouldn’t let you go so easily But believe me What were you thinking when you said you were going to leave This was something I tried for you to continue with me So what were you thinking Just tell me what the fuck were you thinking And I tried But this is how it’s going to be And you lied When you said you’d try for me Because it didn’t matter to you It didn’t matter enough to make a move
9.
.to my head. 03:01
10.
11.
Attestupa 02:56
The shirt you left, with the state logo on it A cookbook of all our meals out together Bows and hairpins, always stopping the vacuum Polaroids I had to take down, things I can’t look at now It’s all come to this It’s come to this The leash is off The waters falling hard And this is all And this is all I’ll try opening my eyes Please make them drown This is all And this is all Trips to the store, then back home, then to my place Sneaking in or sneaking out Leaving messages even if we were about to be together Things I can’t listen to now The plans have faded And the grass is waning And this is all This is all Leave me to rot Where you think I’d be happy This is all This was all
12.
No one knows where it’s gonna go Could be fast but we’ll take it slow Heart break never waits But I like the depth in hesitation No one knows where I’ll end up Had a glass and you filled up my cup But some things spilled out Tell me when you’re thinking about Cause these are long days These are such desperate times They come and they go and come round again Almost if we would barely begin Is this just a phase Doing all my crimes They come and they go and come round again Just a sinner who wants to repent But no one knows Where this will go Take your things no please give them back See your tears come down and retract It’s been a long year Wouldn’t have missed it even with this fear I guess love can just see its way out Like a lighthouse that doesn’t look out Such long spent dreams Just us two, you and me Cause these are long days These are such desperate time They come and they go and come round again Almost as if we would barely begin Is this just a phase Doing all my Crimes They come and they go and come round again Just a sinner who wants to repent But no one knows Where this will go If the dynamics change will the world go with it If I start to change can I ever be complicit If the moon drops will it drop right on us If I am dying will you still look up To me To me To me
13.
Your life just gets brighter Finally got to do things only I could for a while Does it make you feel like a man my dear Have her get you a beer This time you didn’t have to molest her we both know that habitual’s the word But a prose lower than your child chose couldn’t have gotten you out of the fucking dirt And it’s obligatory to hear all the stories How things went when she took off her clothing You’re molding into something better I guess they say When all you have to do is not fucking make prey Out of those closest to you, do you think you’ve made any moves Against conforming to a herd of pathetic white gamer dudes? And you’ve grown so fucking indifferent Towards a love that’s been anything but consistent The whole time you were so fucking lethargic To call it love would just be beyond ironic I knew what you’d done on several occasions Didn’t have the guts to pretend it wasn’t vacation Dove straight into the dating scene as if that’s what anyone wants to see Just a bro who didn’t give a fuck about his family Had to sell the bobble heads and vr set I’m sure that’s the worst causality you’d thought you’d met And I’m sure it might’ve hurt inside But you didn’t start a fight and it wasn’t brave it was fucking spineless And you’ve grown so fucking indifferent Towards a love that’s been anything but consistent The whole time you were so fucking lethargic To call it love would just be beyond ironic Made a song because needed to Sing along if you’re through too Sing along if you’ve ever hated Needed something to keep me wasted Find a friend who you can confide with Find someone who makes you feel guarded Don’t waste a year being someone else Don’t waste your time pretending what you’ve felt

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released June 14, 2020

I did everything.

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Jetson Plains Denver, Colorado

I make music that I think is mostly good.

Jetson Plains est. 2009

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